Old and ageing abused by their own Children

PETALING JAYA: When his son left him at a bus station, John (not his real name) waited patiently for him to return. Five hours later, he was still waiting. Passers-by noticed him and called the police.

The 72-year-old man has dementia and was sent to hospital. Medical social workers managed to get him to recall his son’s telephone number.

When they called John’s son, he did not want to take his father home.

People like John are vulnerable to abuse and neglect, and he is not eligible for government shelter for the elderly because he still has a family.

John is among many Malaysian elderly folk who are facing abuse and neglect. According to a study, one in 10 urban elderly Malaysian is abused, with financial abuse being the most common.

The survey by a team of researchers from the Department of Social and Preventative Medicine under Universiti Malaya’s Medical Faculty said psychological abuse was the next most common followed by physical abuse.

“A pilot survey was done among the urban poor in Kuala Lumpur in 2012 involving 291 individuals above the age of 60. There were elders living in low-cost government-subsidised flats. Of the total, 9.6% said they experienced one or more forms of abuse within the last 12 months of the survey,” said Dr Noran Naqiah Hairi.

By S. Indramalar The Star/Asia News Network

Related Story:

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Dr Noran is leading the Prevent Elder Abuse and Neglect Initiative (Peace) with her colleague Dr Clare Choo.

The team also found that one in 20 rural elders have experienced abuse based on a survey they did among 2,000 respondents in Kuala Pilah, Negri Sembilan.

The most common abuse reported among rural elders is psychological followed by financial.

Anita (not her real name) is a subject of financial abuse. As she has arthritis, she found it difficult to go to the bank. Her son persuaded the 68-year-old retired clerk to give him the authority to handle her finances.

Soon after, he got his widowed mother to sign over her house to him.

“I didn’t want to, but I was bullied into signing my house over. He kept accusing me of not trusting him.

“At first, everything was all right. But then he began investing my money in all kinds of ventures. I have no say in what he does with my money. When I ask him, it gets unpleasant.

“But I am worried what will happen when my money runs out,” laments Anita, who lives with her son in Petaling Jaya.

Still, she would never report her son because elder abuse is not a topic Malaysians discuss openly.

Deputy Women, Family and Com­munity Development Minister Datin Paduka Chew Mei Fun admits that reported figures do not paint the actual picture.

“These are only the cases that come to us. There may be more that we do not know of,” she said.

Most of elder abuse cases go unreported as many see it as a “family problem” which can be dealt with behind closed doors.

Only 23 cases of elder abuse and neglect were reported in the past three years, according to statistics from the ministry.

The study, however, shows it is far more prevalent.

“The Peace study is the first of its kind in Malaysia and it corroborates prevalence rates of elder abuse and neglect in other Asian countries which range from 14% to 27.5%,” added Dr Noran.

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Urgent need to address elder abuse
Old mums face wrath of addict children
Aging in agony

The freelance generation

Young people are finding typical nine-to-five office jobs less appealing, while companies are also realising the benefits of freelancers – more savings on office space and employee benefits.

Full-time jobs? Pfft. Who needs 'em when you can freelance at home in your jammies?

ONCE upon a time, it was only natural to seek and secure a stable job after you graduate, preferably with an established company where you can build your resume based on the reputation of the company.
But now, with the culture of the modern workforce, where demands are high and speed of work is essential, we are seeing the rise of “independent workers” – aka freelancers.

Malaysian Emoployers Federation executive director Shamsuddin Bardan said there has been a “rapid growth” in freelancing in Malaysia, especially with work that can be done online.

He said: “Freelancers have more freedom and flexibility. For some it is about following their passion and being their own boss, while at the same time earning some income.”

According to a PC.com article earlier this year, since Malaysians started using the Freelancer.com website in 2009, over 27,000 freelance jobs have been posted, and over US$851,000 earned by freelancers.

Most of the jobs originate from the Klang Valley, with Malaysian employers mainly hiring freelancers from South Asia. In line with the growth of ICT industries, the most popular projects are software architecture, MySQL and software testing.

The freelance generation

For graphic designer and videographer Zermi Ng, 25, being a freelancer had not only helped him become more productive, but also given him more free time.

“As a freelancer, I usually take about two to eight days to complete a film, and whatever time I have left is usually free for me to do what I want,” he said.

Ng said he could spend just a week to deliver a production and get the same monthly salary he would with a nine-to-five job with five days a week in the office. “The only problem is you might not get a job every month,” he said.

Shamsuddin said: “People who don’t want to be bound by the strict 9am to 5pm working hours would usually choose the freelancing path. But not all jobs can be done by freelancers.

“They usually are professions in the creative field like designers and copywriters, as well as IT or enginering professions.”

He pointed that more companies are now attracted to this new form of hiring and moving away from traditional employment.

The benefits for employers, he said, is they can “save on benefits and statutory payments” while maintaining a lean workforce and meeting bursts in demand.

“For example, a company who specialises in food and beverage will not need to hire a full-time web developer just to set up a website. In fact, the web developer doesn’t even need to show up to the office.

“By hiring full-time staff, there is space reduction, and more budget spent on benefits. If you hire a freelancer, it’s a win-win situation. Freelancers get the freedom they want and companies don’t need to spend on office space.”

According to Sam Haggar, the Malaysia country head of human resource consulting firm ManpowerGroup, freelancing is becoming a trend because more young people like the lifestyle that comes with it.

“The lifestyle of being able to be anywhere at any time while working is becoming more and more of a trend. There is also no geographical boundary when it comes to delivering their work.”

Fashion photographer Bibo Aswan, 24, started his freelance career in fashion photography and potraiture while studying in Form Two. Before he even graduated with his diploma in photography, he already had a handful of clients to start with.

Freelance fashion photographer Bibo Aswan hopes to work with a photography studio in the future to gain more professional experience and gain access to better equipment.

Even during his internship with a photography studio, he found that he preferred a more flexible working schedule. “I could actually continue to work with the studio full-time, but I chose not to. By freelancing, I don’t actually have to work everyday.”

A price to pay

It is important to note that there is a difference between freelance and part-time workers. Part-timers are employees who are entitled to all company benefits and social security like EPF and Socso, but with a lower level of commitment.

But of course, freelancers usually enjoy more freedom and flexibility. In the eyes of the law, however, they have very little leverage against their employers. And on top of that, their income is rarely as stable as that of a full-time or part-time employee.

“Freelancers are paid for their work but they have almost no benefits and have no rights of employment apart from a contract between the employer and the freelancer,” said Haggar.

According to Shamsuddin, there also have been cases where freelancers were scammed and cheated for their services. “There are ‘companies’ and ‘employers’ out there targeting freelancers. They ask for your services and then disappear without giving you payment.”

Shamsuddin said freelancers ought to be careful in dealing with their employers as they might encounter bogus companies or scams. It is vital for a freelancer to request for a civil contract, and also to check the employer and company’s background before committing to a job.

Through both freelancing and working as an employee, filmmaker Joshua Chay, 27, discovered what he wanted to achieve in his career.

Filmmaker Joshua Chay took his freelance career to the next level by starting his own production company called The Spacemen.

“I didn’t see myself working for a company because I wanted to be my own person. In that way I’m able to produce the kind of work I like and I’m passionate about,” said Chay.

Although Chay pursued a freelance career in filmmaking, he was working with many types of clients – including some he didn’t particularly enjoy working with.

“The biggest thing about my freelance career was that it was growing, and fast. But through the jobs, I realised what kind of work I didn’t want to do. So from there, I began to pick my clients and produce the type of work I enjoy and am actually good at,” said Chay.

Haggar added: “That’s one of the great advantages freelancers have – they get to choose their clients and enjoy their work.”

The path to entrepreneurship

Eventually, freelancing became a stepping stone for Chay to venture into something bigger – starting his very own company. He realised the importance of expanding his services, as well as presenting a higher credibility to clients, which is why he founded his own company, The Spacemen, with two other friends.

Ng had also taken steps to expand his services by starting his own company, Mime Studio. “Starting a company will attract more clients, and it makes it easier for us to convince them,” he said.

But on the flipside, despite the liberty freelancers have, Haggar said they often lose out on the mentorship you get from having a superior, and learning from other colleagues. “This form of working may cause young freelancers to be less business-savvy and structured, because they are without guidance.”

Because of this, Bibo plans to work with a professional photography studio in the near future. “I want to do that so I can learn the business side of things. Plus, a professional studeio would also have better resources, like proper production equipment.”

That’s one of the reasons why Chay spent around three years freelancing before he started his own company. He wanted to learn everything from scratch, from the top to the bottom of the production industry.

“Because I started out doing everything on my own, I had to learn everything. And I realised after a while that starting a company was the right move. Multi-national companies may not work with freelancers, but they might if you’re a legit company,” he said.

Freelancers may have the liberty to work when, where and how they want,but they lose out on full-time benefits and social security.

Contributed by  by Kevin Tan The Star/Asia News Network

Youth addicted to computer games died in front of his computer!

 

Ong Yee Haw, 23, (pic) was found slumped over the keyboard in front of his computer monitor in a room by his uncle at about 4pm.

 GEORGE TOWN: A youth addicted to computer games died of a heart attack at his home in Bandar Baru Air Hitam here after apparently playing continuously for over 15 hours at a cybercafe nearby. 

He was said to have been at the cybercafe from 10pm on Sunday until 1pm the next day before returning home to his own computer.

However, it was not known which computer game Ong had been playing before his death.

His mother Chew Qun Juan, 62, said her only son had been addicted to computer games ever since he stopped working at a restaurant five months ago following a motorcycle accident.

“He injured his right hand and had to stop working. I constantly told him not to spend too much time on computer games but he never listened.

“I single-handedly raised him after my husband died of cardiac arrest 15 years ago. Words cannot describe my sadness now. I only hope that others, who are also addicted to computer games, will learn something from this.

“I hope this will not happen to anyone else. My son was still so young,” she said in between tears when met at the Penang Hospital mortuary yesterday.

A post-mortem report, she said, confirmed that Ong died of a heart attack.

Ong was cremated at the Batu Gantung crematorium yesterday afternoon. The case has been classified as sudden death.

On Dec 27 last year, a 35-year-old broker was found dead inside his home, supposedly after playing video games.

A video game console was found in front of Liu Peng Han’s body. When his body was discovered by his uncle, Liu was lying on the sofa in the living room.

There had also been several media reports of deaths due to computer addiction in China, South Korea, Vietnam and the United States.

It was reported that in 2005, a man in South Korea went into cardiac arrest and died after playing StarCraft almost continuously for 50 hours. Two years later, a 30-year-old man in Guangzhou died after playing video games continuously for three days.

Contributed by Winnie Yeoh The Star/Asia News Network

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Are you raising selfish kids?

Most children are egocentric, more so in these modern times. There are ways to get them to see the world beyond themselves.

YOU often hear parents complaining about how today’s children are not as obedient, thoughtful and polite as those of previous generations.

This is especially true in Generation Y and Z kids, who are also known as “Generation Me”. Generation Y and Z includes those born in the digital age and who have been familiar with using smartphones, the Internet and digital gadgets from a young age. There are varying opinions on when exactly the generation began. Some say those born in the 1980s onwards while others point to the 1990s or even the noughties.

Gen Y and Z children have a greater sense of entitlement, demand for instant gratification and generally disregard others’ needs. In simpler terms, they appear to be more selfish than kids in generations before them. It used to be family first, community’s interests, and country’s pride. Now, it is “me” first.

Get this: The GoGetter — Land & Water puzzle will be yours if you come up with the best story on ‘Games/puzzles my kids love to play’ for June.
 

With all manner of advertising being thrown at us these days, it is not surprising that children don’t always know how to separate wants and needs. They seem to think they need a lot of things, with some even believing they have the right to demand for materialistic possessions. Parents who overindulge their children will give them the impression that they are entitled to these luxuries.

If a child is selfish in nature, he or she will not know how to care for others and this will eventually lead to social and relationship problems.

ParenThots shares some methods to ensure your child sees the world beyond himself or herself.

Book reviews 

Geronimo Stilton is the Famous Five of the 21st century. The comforting news is that the English in the book series is sound, the stories set in various countries offer lessons in Geography and culture, and at least your kids are reading! Definitely recommended.

Childhood Allergies is written simply so that parents can get a clear idea of what allergies are about and what symptoms to look out for.

Bully stories 

There are quite a few bully stories this week, including one from a man in his 60s who says he still can’t forget what happened when he was six years old as well as a letter to bullies from a former victim.

The voting for the best bully stories ends tomorrow. So, do click on Like at the end of the story or on the post about your favourite bully story on the ParenThots Facebook page (facebook.com/parenthots).

Father’s Day contest 

This is the last week to win a netbook computer for your dad through the Dad Deserves An Asus contest. Just log in using your Mystar ID, answer the three objective questions and complete the sentence: “Dad needs an Asus netbook because ...”

You can enter to win for your husband, father or even yourself (if you are a father). The prize should go to a father. We will check!

The contest closes June 3.

Win a puzzle 

If your child loves puzzles and games, you will want to know about the Win A Puzzle promotion. Just write in about the topic of the month (the topic changes every month) and you stand a chance to win a puzzle. There is only one puzzle to be won every month. The puzzles are sponsored by educational toys company BRAINet.

For June, the title to write on is “Games/puzzles my kids love to play” and the word limit is 700. The prize for June is the GoGetter – Land & Water.

The last day to send in entries is June 20. Go to ParenThots for more details.

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Oct 18, 2010 

CYBER bullying, a worldwide big problem

CYBER bullying has become more widespread among people today, especially with the emergence of social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter (“Vengeance via the Net” – The Star, March 21).

Social networking sites offer people the chance to jot down the happenings in their daily lives, express opinions and share ideas, besides venting their frustrations.



However, cyber bullies take it a step too far when posting nasty and derogatory comments about others. The reason for their action is that they are prejudiced towards others.

Their prejudice stems from the fact that they think that the other person is not sociable and less outspoken. Due to jealousy, cyber bullies also target those who are popular.

Their methods of bullying include stealing other’s pictures or writing unpleasant remarks in order to attract attention.

Some work in groups so that they seem powerful, and the victims have no chance to turn the tables on them.

Cyber bullies will even use electronic means to superimpose the targeted victim’s face on a nude photo to destroy that person’s reputation.

The main motive is to hurt the other party, and cyber bullies are aware of their actions.

Cyber bullies are actually craving for attention. They lack confidence and they boost their pride and ego by destroying other people’s image. They enjoy the thrill of publicly shaming others in the mistaken idea that it will make them look good.

In actual fact, they are cowards hiding behind technology and using it as a weapon to humiliate others. They do not realise that their actions can have serious consequences.

The person they hurt may be harmed emotionally and psychologically. The victims suffer in silence because they do not know where to turn to for help. It will affect their daily routine.

It is advisable that victims of cyber bullying do not retaliate but instead inform their parents or the authorities.

Cyber bullies may say they are doing it for fun, but their actions will backfire should they be caught.

They are actually the ones who are in need of help. They may even take their bullying ways to the extreme, such as physical violence, if they are not stopped.
Counselling is the proper way to handle cyber bullies. Social networking sites are good outlets to voice opinions but one should not abuse the privilege. Use it right and one can eventually lead a fulfilling life.

By YANG CHIEN FEI, -Use social media right
Ampang, Selangor.

Challenge yourselves !

Image by epSos.de via FlickrTweet

On The Beat By Wong Chun Wai

Young people who just whine at the demands of their employers or prefer to stay within the confines of Daddy’s home won’t go far.

THERE was a time when most youngsters could not wait to move out of their parents’ homes.

For those living outside the Klang Valley, moving to Kuala Lumpur meant the beginning of a new life, start of a career and, of course, being away from the watchful eyes of their parents.

The independence that came with it for young adults was just too irresistible. Living alone or sharing an apartment with friends offered better privacy than staying with the folks, even if it ate into their pay.

But many unmarried young Malaysian adults, especially among the urban middle class, are now opting to stay with their parents.

They have become a lot smarter. They get to keep their salaries while enjoying the comforts of a proper home and do not have to pay for the utility and household food bills. They also have the maid to take care of their demands, which include washing their cars.

No wonder our kids grumble when they are picked for National Service, which is really just like an outward bound training programme compared with the real McCoy in Singapore. There, they are dressed and treated like real soldiers.

Living such pampered lifestyles, where many seem to have their own cars even when they are still in college, these young adults’ outlook has also changed.

Employers have found that many job entrants snub a RM2,500 starting salary even when they have yet to prove themselves. Some already receive pocket money of about RM1,000 a month and fear losing their allowances from their parents once they start working. For these spoiled kids, it’s just bad mathematics.

Some, I have been told, receive pocket money of at least RM2,000 a month because they maintain a lifestyle that includes having regular sessions at Starbucks and clubs and, of course, raking up bills for the mobile phone and iPad.

So, the result is they can be choosy. This attitude is an issue faced by many employers these days.



We do not need an in-depth survey to know the condition of the job market. A managing director of a media company told me last week that a young applicant refused to accept her job offer because the office was located in Petaling Jaya.

“She said her home was in Cheras and having to wake up early to beat the traffic jam to PJ wasn’t appealing. So she just turned us down,” she said.

Good workers are hard to come by and it does not help that Malaysian employers are not quite prepared to offer competitive salaries, conscious of the fact that this would add to their costs.

Young staff bring in greater energy, freshness and a better outlook but these don’t necessarily come with more passion or loyalty. Young Malaysians today would probably have worked in at least six companies, maybe even more, within a short period.

The good ones know they would be talent scouted or they would simply leave for other jobs that offered better salaries and perks.

This writer has worked for The Star for 27 years, which probably makes me a Jurassic subject here. I have had only one employer and while it may seem strange to many young people, those of my generation would understand.

I travelled around campus on a motorcycle, which was regarded as a privilege then, and I used the same kap cai when I started work in Penang.

Getting my first car, which was the result of some serious saving, was a great achievement. And it was a second-hand car.

The biggest headache for employers today, however, is the inability of many job seekers to speak and write well in English. This is high on the list of minimum requirements.

Recruitment advertisements, whether in print or online, state clearly that English is an absolute essential, but many job seekers cannot pass this first hurdle.

“It has become a norm to hear applicants speaking in Bahasa Malaysia or Mandarin when they call up. You can tell that they cannot even carry out a simple conversation in English,’’ an employer tells me.

But as Malaysian companies look beyond the local market, which is really tiny in comparison to Indonesia, India, China or the Middle East, they would acknowledge that applicants who speak more than just English would be more marketable.

My non-Chinese friends are often annoyed when they read job advertisements specifying Mandarin-speaking candidates. I tell them many Malaysian Chinese from English-medium schools would share their feelings.

“Bananas” like me – yellow outside but white inside – would struggle like my non-Chinese brethren if we were in China because of our language handicap. The reality is that many companies need to do business in China, which has become the world’s most important market. And with Europe on the decline economically, China’s status has become even more powerful.

So there really is nothing discriminatory about those advertisements. A Malay who can speak and write Chinese would probably get the job. There are two Malay reporters in The Star with these skills and they are regarded as gems.

Dubai is also a strategic hub with many multi-national companies setting up their regional headquarters there. Surely, job seekers who speak Arabic would enjoy an advantage there.

The question is how ready are our young adults to learn new skills, including language and even social networking skills, to make them more marketable?

We won’t go far if we continue to whine at the demands of our employers or just prefer to stay within the confines of Daddy’s home.

Go out there and challenge yourselves.